Lost

Where is my passion? Where did it go? Did I lose it again for a friend for a foe? Did I let go of me trying too hard to please you? And now you don't love me like you used to do. So I've lost not only my passion for me, but it seems to me that I've lost you too. And now I have nothing, nothing but blue. God, I hate blue. It is a horrible shade of black, which I hate too. Does pain have a shade - a color - a hue? Yes, yes I'm just sure that it do. And it's ugly and vile and destructive - I know. I've been there, I have, at least a time or two. Now I am back. I'm back in that place. Where I don't know me - I'm lost to myself. I'm sad and I'm mad and I'm tattered and torn. Cause I gave up my soul - my reason to exist - for someone or something I should never have risked. Why oh why did I do this again? When will I learn that it's me in this world? No one and no thing will tend to me well. Unless it is me, guess I'll just live in hell.